Alien Nicotine Grays (Children Smoking/Boy Scouts Don't)
Posted: Wednesday, April 30, 2008
by Calvin Pstone
No Smoking 101
Chapter 44: Nauseous Nocturnal Nicotine Grays
After leaving his starting script for the Parent's Magazine article with Alanda to proof, Cal walked to the stern deck to see how the passengers were doing. While talking to Iris about her hearing music in her head, Cal was called to the forward port stabilizer compartment by Chief Engineer Mike, to decide on a repair for the giant fin's main bearing lubricator. In leaving Iris's company, Cal absent mindedly left the manuscript for his next book lying on the table next to Iris.
Your Child's No Smoking Manual "Counseling Your Child to Not Smoke Any Thing Ever"
By Calvin Pstone (the "P" is silent) and the Editors of "NO SMOKING MAGAZINE "
Thumbing the table of contents, the title, "Nauseous Nocturnal Nicotine Grays", caught her eye. Iris went to page number 129 and began to read what Cal had generated:
During July and August of 2005, four Boy Scout Leaders and three Boy Scouts, in three separate incidences, were either shocked by power lines or struck by lightning and lost their lives in the line of duty. This story was inspired by their example as leaders for young people who, on a daily basis, walk the extra mile to help children to not start smoking cigarettes. This writing is in their honor and I am sure they would have enjoyed its tribute to their guidance.
Read closely Reader . . . it's getting dark.
We never know the one part, the finer point, the little bit of a story that will always loom in a young person's mind to keep them from saying "yes' to trying that first smoke. So, here is another story to tell a child. This science fiction story has several word snags for children to remember. It tells, in detail, exactly how Nicotine works in a human brain to bring about a child's addiction to cigarettes.
A "Commander Alien" from outer space stars in this story. Tell the child to imagine the space alien as working for the Tobacco Companies and the young person will get the same effect.
Now, Reader . . . it is dark.
It is a black night with no moon shining its gray shadow light. High in the sky, the shape of a different flying machine is parked over the unsuspecting people below. Inside the alien craft, a dangerous mind is brooding over the terrain.
The huge Cigar shaped mother ship is hovering over "Yosemite National Park" in California. It's 1:AM in the morning. The Commander of the "Grays", an alien race of creatures standing at various heights from 4 to 6 feet tall, gray in color, having two arms, two legs, and two large eyes in their head, much like a human, is showing his Lieutenants the viewer screen of what is directly nine miles down.
Below are thousands of families staying in the park in their tents and hundreds of Black Bears hustling about looking for food to steal? The group of people the Alien Leader is having his comrades focus on is a group of Cub, Boy and Girl Scouts sitting around a campfire and another ten pre-teens and teens clustered around some near by trees.
The scouts, ten of them, are roasting marshmallows over their campfire. Ten others, not scouts, are grouped in the dark, in a cluster of pine trees, smoking cigarettes near by the campfire area. Four black bears, from hidden positions, are watching the marshmallows being roasted over the fire's flames.
The Lead Alien "thinks" to his six soldiers: we have to find out how to eliminate this race of pesky humans. The key is having all of them smoke cigarettes. We must determine why the ten by the fire, with the stick things, do not smoke and how to get them to start smoking.
The four bears are patiently waiting for some way to get to the marshmallows, one of their favorites, without making the children all start screaming in terror and waking up the whole park.
The Alien master continues, "You six get into the transport saucer and abduct all twenty children and bring them here. We will conduct a test to find out how to have them all become addicted to cigarettes.
As the group of abductors, at their Commander's order, enters their small saucer craft to fly the 10 second trip down to the humans, they feel a bit of glee. They love to experiment on humans. (Not a big deal here on earth . . . the tobacco companies have experimented on children for years).
Arriving over their targets, they turn on their bright transporting hypnotic lights to beam down from the small craft. The 20 young people and four bears look up into the green tinted bioluminescence. The lights pull the small humans quickly into the alien speeder. Transporters turned off, the saucer flies back up to the mother ship.
The bears look back down at the campfire and see the roasting sticks with marshmallows, laying on the ground and without blinking an eye, lunge over to scarf down the half browned confections.
One minute later, the children are standing in the large examination room of the mother ship. They are in a state of sleep walking and are not aware of their new environment. Their eyes stare straight ahead, seeing absolutely nothing.
The Commandant scrutinizes his catch of 20 young humans. The first observation he mentally remarks on is that ten of them have on blue or green clothes of the same kind. He thinks to himself, "Hmmm, uniforms."
His keen mind sees that the blue uniformed ones are males. They have a cap that is tilted to the right, no cuffs on their trouser legs, and their golden yellow neckerchiefs, worn loose, have a "slide." Further, their shirts have a Flag Emblem, Den Number, Cub Scout Strip, Pack Numeral, Arrow of Light patch, Badge of Rank, and a Community Council strip. Yes, he thinks to himself, these are the Cub Scouts of America. They don't smoke cigarettes. Well, we will see about that.
He turns his attention to the other ten and takes inventory. There are 7 males and 3 females of about the same age as the scouts. Their hats are on backwards, he notes peer pressure weakness. Their trousers are too large and worn saggy: he isn't able to discern a reason for this. Their shirts have an assortment of different logos and words, no group effort of purpose. He sees that they are an "every person for them selves" bunch and they all, peer pressure/fear smoke, cigarettes. He thinks, hmmm, I will find out the reason for their smoking and the others to not smoke.
Turning to his Quartermaster, he gives the order to move the ship to the"Andromeda System" and park there. He figures his tests and research procedures on the humans could take about 8 hours. The trip to Andromeda and back will warp Earth time so that when he returns the children, it will appear they have been missing for only 20 minutes. He smiles a worse than evil smile to his alien self.
He stomps the orange colored floor button with his suction cupped foot; the button's signal sounds in the quarters of his surgical staff and they begin to arrive in the examination room where the 20 children and teens are now each strapped on a dissection table. They all are about to die in their sleep, ten of them for not-smoking a cigarette . . . an unusual twist of cigarette fate.
The alien staff of 35 human body parts specialists are running around like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off as they prepare their tools of destruction for the work before them. The Commander is pleased.
He takes a seat in his hover-chair and with a wiggle of his index appendage, summons the Chief Surgeon over. The chief is taller than the rest of his personnel and has a larger head with bigger eyes. The commander says to him, "First of all Chief, make sure all the subject's reconstructive devices are switched on so we can put these humans back together again properly, unlike that last incident where we had a bunch of zombies to send back to their point of origin."
Mentally, the Chief acknowledges his Lord with a "Yes sir".
The commander continues, "I want to know exactly how this cigarette addiction ensnares a human's brain. Then I want to know how to force the addiction mechanism onto all humans. Be thorough and leave nothing to guess work. I demand success . . . failure will prompt my selecting a new assistant. Do you understand, Chief?"
Mentally, the Chief acknowledges his Lord with a, "Yes sir". Ever so slightly, the Chief begins to "sweat/leak" eye juices.
"Hmmm", says the Commander. Then he quickly says, "Now before you begin hacking away, chief, we know from observing humans who are trying to quit cigarettes, it is crystal clear that the tobacco's addictive powers are exceedingly tremendous and indeed-relentless and endless. Once hooked, each Nicotine drug addict will die a smoker. Isn't that a beautiful thought, Chief?"
Mentally, the Chief Surgeon acknowledges his Lord Commander with a, "Yes sir".
One small drop of the alien chief's precious bodily fluids is about to run down his cheek. He notices the slight tickle is growing into dripping size. He is beginning to sweat. He knows if he doesn't get away from the Commander, he will be found out quite soon and the punishment for fear is demotion to servant.
Eyeing the children, the Commander says, "So chief, working backwards from this knowledge, make clear to me the mechanism behind Nicotine's habit forming properties. Are you positive you understand my orders?"
Mentally, the Chief acknowledges his Lord with a "Yes sir".
Giving a snappy appendage salute, the chief makes sure his right index/thumb dobs his sweat /leak droplet without his Commander noticing. . . The chief is successful. He turns and begins his ordered tasks. Arriving next to his master control monitor, he thinks to himself, "Alien, am I glad that's over with!"
Each of the alien "human dissectors" inserts the various tubes, implant measuring devices, and mind deciphering sensors into the young human body lying on their "table station". The human's readout information begins to be displayed on the chief's large area monitor.
The Chief Medical Dissector's quick mind computes the facts at hand. "Human addiction . . . hmm," he thinks to himself. "This addiction routine of humans looks pretty basic to me. I have seen this for the last 300 years. Nicotine, alcohol (metabolizes into its addictive ingredient "Acetaldehyde"), marijuana, opium, morphine, heroin, cocaine, sugar, and nicotine . . . oh, and now-a-days, crack ("cooked cocaine"), meth (Methamphetamine), ecstasy (meth), glass (meth), pills (prescription), PCP (Phencyclidine), crank (meth), Cigarettes (nicotine), sex, shop lifting, and food - it's always the same. They try, they like, and they can't live without it."
The Chief remembers, "All except cigarettes - Nicotine . . . they try, they don't like, yet it is so addictive it makes them love its stink-they can't live without it." Humans spend massively more money on cigarettes than all other drugs combined. By his calculations, cigarettes are the key to his quest of slaughtering the human race.
The Chief Medical officer thinks to himself, "I have to make the commander happy, so I will take these kid's brains apart and see what makes addiction work. Oh, boy . . . human brain dissections . . . and lots of them - goodie, goodie, goodie!"
He checks the ship's memory banks for previous studies he has conducted on smokers and non-smokers and concentrates on the brain protein called Cyclic AMP-"response element binding protein" (CREB). He makes a note to call this brain protein the "Addiction Satisfaction Sensor/Switch". With his knack for simplifying medical terms and all, he thinks of CREB as if a human's house was able to create its own computers. You know, a human comes home and finds there are two computers set up in every room . . . even the bathroom. The house says to the human, "You like?"
The chief directs a message to all dissection stations-"Double calibrate the re-structuring memory banks of your subject's brains and then remove their brains and slice them into micro thin slices. . . I will have further instructions in 15 tanzers." He thinks to himself, "Alien-what these humans will do for a cigarette."
Walking the dissecting room floor, the chief sees his instructions being carried out to the letter. Back at his array of counsels, he keys in orders for his team to examine closely the brain region called the "Ventral Tegmental" area. He knows, from previous studies, this region is where the habit building mechanisms for drugs, including alcohol, takes place in humans.
Thinking of proteins as being switches and sensors . . . switches and sensors have to be constructed in the brain for addiction to have a place to occur and make rewards for continued drug use, which is avoiding the discomfort of withdrawal. In other words, a human's brain does not come ready made for addiction, addiction switches, sensors, and accompanying fantasy viewing screens and sensations have to be manufactured much like a human would order a custom built computer from the "Swell Computer Company".
The chief remembers the mirror reflection tests he gave alcoholic humans. He found that a person addicted to alcohol looks into a mirror and just sees themselves as being fine. In their mind, they are just drinking a beer. Actually they are not fine, they are an ugly drunk and they are a nuisance and they are dangerous to themselves and children.
The chief sees on his comparison monitor's displays: all 20 of the young people's brains, "Ventral Tegmental" areas. Sure enough, the 10 that smoke cigarettes have activated "response element binding proteins" and the 10 that don't smoke . . . have not activated their, "response element binding proteins".
He knows he is on the right trail here. Nicotine has the ability to manufacture addiction switches in a human's brain. He keys in his next command; give me a readout of their DNA with attention given to the count of "Mu-Opioid Receptors" on their nerve cells-quickly servants-now!
Mu-Opoiod Receptors are the little sensors that give the Good-High-Feeling to the Nicotine addict . . . and the sensors, that when denied their "Favorite Drug", make the addict suffer and crash. You know, the ol'what goes up-blam . . . must come down------.
The Chief is impatient. He knows the Commander is also, and will be approaching him any minute and demand answers.
The DNA readings begin to appear on his viewers . . . there it is. In the DNA of the smokers, the Nicotine activated CREB is binding to parts of the DNA that increases production of mu-opioid receptors on the nerve cells. Nicotine hatches DNA instructions to make switches.
"I'll be Dumb", thinks the chief. A human brain comes out of the crate with unwired addiction sensors. Nicotine eggs hatch and wire the sensors so they receive a reward from nicotine and other drugs . . . Nicotine is the Mother of the human race's addiction problem . . . cool. The chief is pleased. He has found the "Master Addiction Creating Substance" for human beings-Nicotine. He knows his commander will be pleased.
The chief straightens up and turns to report to his commander and blam, - crashes into his commander, who is sitting in his hover-chair just behind the chief, studying the chief's monitor screens.
"You idiot . . .,"growls the Commander. "Get off of me!"
"Sorry, Commander, ah, I have the information you ordered. Nicotine is the root cause for all drugs to become addictive. If all humans will just smoke that first cigarette, a solid 45% will be addicted and the rest will follow suit within two decades."
"Ok, chief . . . so that being crystal clear-how do we get them all to smoke that first cigarette?"
"Well sir, I took the liberty of printing a read out of each young human's level of personal integrity. I compared their determination for having a firm adherence to a code or standard of personal values along with their state of being unimpaired and how sound their morality is maintained. Their self esteem and self confidence maintains their integrity."
"Then I cross referenced the readouts against the smokers and the non-smokers."
With a frown, the Chief Surgeon states, "These Boy Scouts and Girl Scout groups don't smoke because they have integrity. They have been taught to help other people even if it means placing themselves second to another person. They understand that to follow a leader will make them able to be a leader some day. And, they don't feel alone and unneeded because they are a necessary part of a positive group effort. They are Girl and Boy Scouts of America."
"Scouts of America don't smoke cigarettes Commander. They have the Scout Sign, Handshake, Motto, Salute, Living Circle, the Cub, Girl, and Boy Scout Code to guide their peer pressures towards being part of the solution instead of being part of the problem. I don't find any way to get Scout humans to start smoking cigarettes, sir. They like to get high on a clean life and shun the filth of cigarettes."
"But, here is the good news, your Excellency. The ten who do smoke don't have any of the non-smoker's qualities. At some point during their early life their self esteem and self confidence were injured. Most likely by their parents or the male-female peer pressure game they are taught to play against each other. Some sort of teaching to be a real man or quiet woman. A fear generated thing they do to their children and selves."
"So you see sir, we don't have to do anything. We don't have to get a rope and figure out how to have them put their heads into the noose . . . the males are in charge and they are using their own belts to hang and kill themselves. It's just wonderful, Sir."
The Commander reflects on the information before him. Like adding two and two . . . he gets four. One cigarette + two or three puffs = foreclosure to his human dilemma. He is soothingly pleased.
His mind clear of his arithmetic problem and human problem, the Commander composes a sonnet poem to commemorate his success at destroying the humans. It reads:
I arrived to battle them to the death. Death the to them battle to arrived I left My talents not required to conquer their horde, I depart for my home, their self inflicted death . . . has made me quite bored.
Signed, Commander Mass Marauder Esq. @2005
"Send that off to headquarters, Chief, and let's go home."
Had the Chief Surgeon eyebrows, they would have elevated. He said, "Ah, what about the human children Sir?"
With a flick of his appendage, the Commander quips, "Oh, yes . . . those-Things'. Put them back together and beam them down, Scottie."
"Ahhh, haaa, haa, ha. Get it Chief? . . . Beam them down-Scottie?"
The Chief thinks to himself, "Scottie? . . . My name is Mr. Dumpy."
"Never mind Dumbo', put a penny in each one's pocket and get them off my ship and let's go!"
20 minutes later, back at the campfire, one of the Young Scouts can be heard saying, "Hey, who ate my marshmallow?"
Next chapter. . .the Science Fiction story continues. . .No Smoking 101.
This Article has been viewed 276 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.